Each year, the holidays promise joy, connection, and celebration but for many people, they also bring stress, fatigue, and emotional overload.
According to the 2025 Holiday Mental Health Report, the season involves a complex mix of emotions, with 57% of respondents saying they find the holidays stressful and 64% wishing they could skip at least a few gatherings altogether.
That mixture of joy and duty captures something real about how many of us feel this time of year.
The Pressures Beneath the Celebration
The holidays amplify what’s already true in our lives. Financial worries, family conflicts, and grief often surface more sharply during this time. One national survey found that nine in ten adults report feeling stressed during the holidays, and those already managing mental health conditions frequently experience worsening symptoms. We often assume this stress is a sign of poor planning or bad attitude, but in truth, it’s often a byproduct of trying to meet impossible expectations.
Social Media and the Myth of the Perfect Holiday
Psychotherapist and author Niro Feliciano, in her book All Is Calm, urges us to prioritize connection over perfection. She notes that social media often heightens comparison and triggers feelings of inadequacy, subtly shaping our brain chemistry and our sense of what “enough” looks like.
Her reminder: joy and peace aren’t found in performing the holidays well, but in experiencing them authentically even when that includes sadness, fatigue, or ambivalence.
Protecting Your Mental Health This Season
There’s no single “right” way to do the holidays. But there are practical ways to support your emotional well-being and stay connected to what matters most:
- Create space for quiet. Feliciano describes a practice she calls “Silent Morning” …waking early, lighting a candle, drinking coffee, and simply being with yourself before the day begins. Reading, journaling, praying, or just breathing can anchor your nervous system before the rush begins.
- Set boundaries that honor your values. Consider in advance how much time, energy, and money you can reasonably give. This might mean setting a budget, declining certain invitations, or choosing which conversations and environments feel supportive.
- Reimagine connection. If certain gatherings feel obligatory, look for smaller, more genuine ways to connect such as a walk with a friend, a handwritten note, a call with someone you miss.
- Engage in reflection and creativity. Journaling, video or audio diaries, and scrapbooking can help you process the season rather than rush through it.
- Check in with your grief. If you’re missing someone or facing change this year, try to release the idea of how you “should” feel. Instead, notice how you actually feel each day.
We checked in with our therapists at Modern Therapy and Wellness on how they protect their peace during the holiday season and here is what they said:
Summer: “I meditate, workout and have an exit strategy.”
Kelley: I read a lot with my kids. I find it cozy and grounding. I remind myself that less is more. I focus on things that bring me joy like warm coffees, holiday movies and sitting by the fire.
Jane: “I don’t automatically say yes to every invitation, and I pace myself with things like cooking and decorating.”
Sophia: “I find trying to let go of expectations and quiet / mindfulness either with a mediation or walks; also setting aside time for intentionally crating enjoyable experiences like lightening a candle and reading, baking something, or watching a nostalgic movie.”
Ellen: “Fitting in self-care and allowing myself to rest when needed.”
A Different Kind of Holiday
You might not attend every event, wrap every gift, or meet every expectation. But you can choose presence over performance, and connection over perfection
Modern Therapy and Wellness is a group practice in New Orleans, Louisiana. We offer individual and couples therapy. We also offer couples intensive sessions, EMDR and brainspotting. Email us: info@moderntherapyandwellness.com