I don’t know about you, but I love a good reset. The New Year is a time when we can reflect on our past year and think about what we want to bring into the next year. However, this is not the type of article that is going to tell you what type of goals to set. While I think that is good practice, there are also times when we need to hold space for the hard things that we have done or gone through.
I was reading Nedra Glover Tawwab recent article “Tis the Season for Reflection” where she talks about the importance of thinking about the content of your past year. She asks the questions: “Did you lose someone, change jobs, become a new parent, have a friend breakup, go through a divorce or something really hard, get a health diagnosis? “
Give Yourself Grace
This entails holding space and giving yourself grace for the things that you went through that may have been hard, or life altering. I know many families who have had a health diagnosis this year or a family member to take care of, an addiction to battle or a major loss. The reality is that it has not been an easy year for many of us. If you are just going through the motions, that is okay. That may be all that you can do right now. Self-care means honoring where you and are and honoring what you are doing to survive.
Accept Help
Going through hard times is part of the human experience. Know that you are not alone in experiencing hard times, sadness and pain. There are people in your life who want to support you. You are not a burden. Let them help. Studies show that people with strong social connections are more resilient when life becomes tough. Lean on your people. In tough times we need to accept help from our neighbors, our friends, our coworkers and loved ones.
It’s okay not to be okay
Beware of toxic positivity “everything is going to be okay”.
It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to say this has been a hell of a year. Expressing negative or sad emotions is necessary. We can do this without staying in them. We can give ourselves the space to be sad. Doing so, allows us to release our emotions.
A poem below written by Yung Pueblo:
“Do not hide from what you are feeling
this current discomfort is not permanent
rest is an important way to calm the mind
struggle can be a space of deep growth”
Grief is intertwined with joy
Any change in our lives can bring grief. Changing jobs, changing homes, changing relationships, or changing friend groups. It is important to note that we can experience joy and grief simultaneously. As humans we have the capacity to hold complex emotions.
When grieving a loss, we can miss someone dearly and still enjoy moments in our lives. We can miss our loved ones and simultaneously experience joy with our children, our pets or our friends.
If we have a health diagnosis, we can also grieve. We may grieve what our lives were like before the diagnosis. We can feel sad about our circumstances but also feel immense gratitude for other parts of our lives.
2024
If this has been a tough year for you, I want you to think about going into 2024 in ways that support your well being.
- Take good care of yourself
- Be gentle with yourself
- Give yourself lots of compassion
- Surround yourself with people who love you
- Notice your glimmers
- Find ways to have fun
- Protect your peace
Modern Therapy and Wellness is a therapy practice in New Orleans. We are located on Canal St. near Metairie Road. You can see us in person or from your couch anywhere in Louisiana. We believe that all humans can use therapy. We believe that therapy should be warm, direct and relatable. Give us a call for a free phone consultation: 504-452-1483