Featuring Lydia Jaunet, Child & Family Therapist and Director of Therapy Services at Brennan & Associates
At Modern Therapy & Wellness, many of the couples we work with are also raising children. We know that parenting is one of the most meaningful and challenging relationships people will ever have.
Many parents wonder if they’re doing enough, worry about whether their child is struggling, or carry guilt when family life feels overwhelming.
For this edition of our Conversations with Colleagues series, I had the opportunity to sit down with my colleague Lydia Jaunet, a child and family therapist at Brennan & Associates. Interestingly, Lydia and I actually attended elementary school together, and neither of us could have imagined that years later we’d both end up becoming therapists. Because so many of the couples I work with are also raising children, I wanted to hear her perspective on what she’s seeing with kids and families and what she wishes more parents knew.
What are some of the biggest challenges parents are facing right now?
As a couples therapist, I spend a lot of time talking with parents who are carrying tremendous pressure to get everything right while balancing work, relationships, parenting, and countless responsibilities. I was curious what Lydia is seeing from the perspective of children and families.
Lydia:
One of the biggest things I see is that families are overwhelmed. Parents are trying to balance work, school, extracurricular activities, and the everyday pace of life. Much of that stress is fueled by the belief that they have to do all of it perfectly.
I also think parents are navigating constant comparison because of social medias, something previous generations didn’t experience to this extent. It’s easy to look around and believe everyone else has it together while you’re the only one struggling behind the scenes.
With both young children and teenagers, I’m seeing more anxiety, emotional flooding, perfectionism, social pressure, and difficulty tolerating discomfort. Many children are carrying stress they don’t yet have the language, or the coping skills, to express.
Another challenge is that families have less downtime and less time to simply connect. Everyone is busy, overstimulated, and emotionally depleted, which makes emotional regulation harder for both children and adults.
One thing I remind parents often is this: children don’t need perfection. They need connection, consistency, and emotional safety.
What are some common signs that a child may be feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or dysregulated, even if they aren’t expressing it directly?
One of the things I appreciate about Lydia’s work is how often she reminds parents that behavior is communication. I asked her what signs she encourages parents to pay attention to when something feels “off.”
Lydia:
Children don’t always say, “I’m anxious,” or “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” More often, they communicate distress through their behavior.
Parents may notice increased irritability, emotional outbursts, shutting down, avoidance, clinginess, sleep changes, stomachaches, headaches, perfectionism, or sudden changes in motivation. Some children become oppositional, while others become very quiet and withdrawn.
Emotionally overwhelmed teenagers may show their distress through anger, isolation, procrastination, excessive screen time, or a persistently negative attitude rather than obvious sadness.
I encourage parents to pay attention to changes. Children who are dysregulated may seem on edge, reactive, easily frustrated, or unable to recover from even small disappointments.
One helpful shift is moving from asking, “What’s wrong with my child?” to asking, “What might my child be feeling?”
It’s important to remember that behavior is a form of communication. Beneath the behavior is often a child who doesn’t yet have the language, coping skills, or nervous system capacity to explain what’s happening inside.
Many parents feel guilty when they lose their patience. What would you want them to know about repair after a difficult interaction?
Repair is something we talk about often in couples therapy because healthy relationships aren’t conflict-free. They’re relationships where people know how to reconnect. I wanted to hear Lydia’s perspective on what repair looks like between parents and children.
Lydia:
This is such an important conversation because every parent loses patience at some point. Conflict is inevitable. What matters most isn’t perfection, it’s the repair that follows.
I’m a big believer in modeling healthy repair. One of the healthiest things a parent can do is come back and say, “I got overwhelmed earlier, and I wish I had handled that differently.” When we do that, children learn emotional responsibility, accountability, and emotional safety.
Repair teaches children that relationships can experience conflict and still remain secure.
I also think parents need much more self-compassion. Many are parenting while carrying personal stress, burnout, anxiety, or wounds from their own childhood. That doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, but it does help explain why staying regulated can sometimes feel so difficult.
Children benefit far more from a parent who repairs consistently than from a parent trying to appear perfect all the time.
Are there specific habits, routines, or rituals that seem to make the biggest difference?
When I work with couples, we often talk about how small, consistent moments of connection shape relationships over time. I was curious whether Lydia sees something similar within families.
Lydia:
Absolutely and interestingly, it’s usually the small things that matter most.
Predictable routines help children feel emotionally safe. Family dinners, bedtime routines, after-school check-ins, device-free connection time, or even simple traditions like inside jokes or weekend rituals all help strengthen attachment.
Emotional habits matter just as much as logistical routines. Families who make space for feelings, without immediately trying to fix, dismiss, or solve them, tend to build stronger emotional trust.
Many families are functioning in survival mode. Even 10 to 15 minutes of intentional one-on-one time with a child can have a meaningful impact. For younger children, that might look like reading together before bed. For teenagers, it may happen during the drive home from practice when distractions are naturally limited.
Modeling co-regulation is one of the most powerful tools we have as parents. Children should be able to borrow our calm when they’re drowning in their own storm.
What is one piece of advice you find yourself giving parents over and over again?
To wrap up our conversation, I asked Lydia what message she comes back to most often.
Lydia:
I probably say some version of these two statements almost every day: “Connection comes before correction,” and “Presence over perfection.”
Children are much more receptive to guidance, limits, and problem-solving when they first feel emotionally connected and understood.
That doesn’t mean there are no boundaries or consequences. Structure is important. But when children feel seen and safe, their nervous systems become much more open to learning and adapting.
I also remind parents that lasting behavior change usually isn’t about finding the perfect parenting strategy. More often, it’s about building regulation, relationship, and consistency over time.
Parenting isn’t about getting it right every time. It’s about continuing to show up, staying engaged, and being willing to reconnect again and again.
A Few Takeaways
As I read through Lydia’s responses, I kept coming back to one simple truth: children don’t need perfect parents.
Parents today are carrying an incredible amount. It’s easy to focus on everything you think you should be doing differently or wonder whether you’re getting it right. But both research and our work with families continue to point to the same things: connection, consistency, emotional safety, and repair.
Whether you’re parenting a preschooler, a teenager, or somewhere in between, those small moments of showing up matter. A conversation in the car, a bedtime routine, an apology after a hard day, or ten uninterrupted minutes together may seem small, but over time, they’re what help build secure relationships.
I hope Lydia’s insights serve as a reminder that parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about staying connected, staying curious, and continuing to show up for your child, even in the hard moments.
About Lydia
Lydia Jaunet is a child and family therapist at Brennan & Associates, where she works with children, adolescents, and families. If you’d like to learn more about Lydia or connect with her, you can reach her at ljaunet@brennanbehavior.com.
Enjoyed this conversation?
This article is part of our Conversations with Colleagues series, where we sit down with trusted professionals to explore relationships, mental health, and overall well-being.
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